I would like to not instantly panic over money. I would like to calmly assess the situation and make plans accordingly. Instead I freak out and then eventually figure out how to fix it and it's no enormous gigantor thing. It's not great or fun or even fine, believe me, but all my hyperventilating does is make me have a huge headache.

I'm in a community that works on issues with the self and self-improvement stuff and ironically enough this week's focus is on finances. I picked up a book from the library to try to readjust my thinking ("Your Money or Your Life" was not sufficient to end the freakouts apparently). Wish me luck.

I've decided that I'm going to have to keep the boychild home from school tomorrow so we can return the rental car and Mike can get me back home before he has to head off to work. It's 6 pm and no sign of my car coming back at all tonight. I'm so frustrated I can hardly stand it.

The boychild said some kid told him today that he wasn't "fun enough to play with." My first reaction to this was KILL. We went over ways to respond to the little shithead should he say something nasty again, but I still have this urge to either stomp the shit out of the mean kid or go back to homeschooling (which I totally cannot handle even with my new nifty drugs).

Sometimes being a mom SUCKS. Especially if you want to fix everything.

Dammit.